The subject of submission has largely been taught on and talked about in our Christian circles. However, not many people talk about what it’s like being married to a foolish husband and how impossible it becomes for women married to foolish husbands to submit.
In this blog, we are going to dive into a very interesting story found in 1 Samuel 25. The story of a foolish husband and a wise wife. In this story, David is hiding from King Saul. King Saul was determined to kill David because David’s anointing threatened him. David goes into hiding, running away from Saul. During this period, David recruits men who follow him and are willing to be led by David. At this point, David had up to 600 men under his command, even though he had not yet risen to the position of King.
David and his men were residing in the wilderness when this story took place. Near the place where David and his were staying was a man named Nabal. Nabal was a very wealthy man, but he was a foolish man.
Nabal’s servants used to herd their sheep in the wilderness near where David and his men were. During that time, David and his men never touched any of Nabal’s sheep, which they could have done if they wanted to, and they also actually guarded and protected Nabal’s property from being damaged or stolen by others; they literally offered security services out of their own goodwill.
Now, Nabal was holding a sheep-shearing festival. What would ordinarily happen during a sheep-shearing festival is that they would cut the wool off the sheep, and this wool would become very profitable. This season marked a very prosperous and profitable season, and it called for celebration. When David found that Nabal was holding the sheep shearing festival, he sent his men to Nabal and requested that they give him whatever he could. This was a very reasonable request, considering that one, Nabal was actually holding a celebration in his house and had prepared lots of food and slaughtered meat and two, David and his men had actually protected the very sheep he was profiting from from damage and theft.
However, in his foolishness, he focused on David’s relationship with Saul and decided that David was not worthy of his respect. A wise man would have acknowledged that a man commanding 600 men, in spite of his strained relationship with a sitting king, is indeed a man of influence and worthy of respect. Secondly, Nabal, in his foolishness, lacked the common courtesy that enabled him to show appreciation to a man who had helped him. Nabal hurled insults at David and his men and refused to give them anything. David’s men turned back and went to report to David what had happened.
When David heard what had happened, he was pissed!. He resolved to go and kill Nabal together with every male that belonged to him. He took some of his men and proceeded to go to Nabal’s house.
Thankfully, Nabal had a wise wife. Her name was Abigail. One of Abigail’s servants goes to inform Abigail of what had taken place. He informed her of how David’s men had come and requested Nabal for something and of how Nabal had foolishly insulted David and the men. The servant understood the kind of trouble they were now in. Abigail’s wisdom is first demonstrated in her ability to not only listen to her servant but also take her servant seriously. She immediately loads supplies on a donkey and asks her servant to take them to David and his men as follows behind in an attempt to go and change the ill-fate her husband had gotten her household into (1 Samuel 28:18-19). Abigail’s wisdom is also demonstrated by her decision to do this without informing her husband because, clearly, she understood his level of foolishness and knew he would not approve of her decision.
(1 Samuel 25:24-31) When Abigail and her servant reach David and his men, who were at this point on their way to killing off her household, her wisdom is further demonstrated by how she tactfully changes David’s mind by reminding David of who he is and his relationship with God and softening his heart. She apologised for her husband’s foolishness and accorded David the honour he deserved.
At this, David actually thanked Abigail for helping him change his mind. David realises the damage he would have caused by avenging his enemy as opposed to letting God do it for him, and this demonstrates David’s wisdom, his ability to take correction. Abigail, in her wisdom, had saved both her household and David, the future King.
When Abigail goes back home, her wisdom is once again demonstrated. She finds her husband drunk and enjoying himself and decides not to tell him of her encounter with David because she understood that importance of timing. She knew that telling him in that condition would cause more harm than good and waited till morning to inform him.
In the morning, Abigail tells her husband Nabal about what had transpired the previous day. And here we see Nabal’s foolishness demonstrated once again. Nabal, instead of feeling relieved and thankful to his wife for saving his household from calamity and acknowledging his mistake, his heart hardened like a stone, and 10 days later, God struck Nabal, and he died.
When David finds out that Nabal has died. He asked Abigail to marry him, and she accepted, for David understood the value of a wise wife.
In the next few blogs, I will write about how foolish husbands are making it dangerous for their families in today’s world and how this is posing a real challenge for women who are finding it increasingly hard to submit to these foolish husbands. I will also write about how we can allow God’s Holy Spirit to help us navigate marriages to foolish husbands.
All the Best!.