It’s a common misconception that our children are our possessions. However, they are not merely blessings or gifts from God; they are an assignment. Children are distinct individuals, not here to fulfill our ambitions, and we cannot unilaterally plan their futures. They are God’s children, entrusted to us as gifts and, more importantly, as assignments.
Every child is born with a divine assignment and the innate capacity to connect with God. Our children belong to their heavenly Father, and their fulfillment and purpose are found solely in Him. Our role as parents is to guide them toward God’s voice, as Luke 18:16 states, “But Jesus called the children to him and said, ‘Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.’”
The biblical story of Samuel offers guidance on raising children effectively. While not all of us face infertility like Hannah, many of us take the ability to conceive for granted. Those who have struggled understand children are precious gifts. Hannah, desperate for a child, prayed relentlessly and, even before conception, vowed in 1 Samuel 1:10-11 to dedicate her child to the Lord.
This highlights our responsibility to pray for our children before they are conceived or born, committing them to God. We often forget to commit the conception of our children to God. When we pray for unconceived children, we should believe we receive them spiritually. Even unplanned conceptions are part of God’s plan. We should teach our children to pray for their own future children, and for those with young children, we should pray for our future grandchildren and generations. Parenting begins long before conception, for in God’s Kingdom, we walk by faith.
After conception, we must continue praying for our children’s birth, souls, future, and destiny, declaring God’s will over their lives. Staying grounded in God is crucial for His guidance through pregnancy, childbirth, and child-rearing.
Once a child is born, we must commit them to God and invite His presence into their lives. Hannah honored her vow in 1 Samuel 1:26, bringing her young son to Eli and dedicating him to God.
1 Samuel 2:21 states that Samuel grew up in the presence of the LORD. Many believe God’s presence is confined to churches, leading us to dedicate children but then raise them in homes devoid of His presence, filled with conflict, addiction, bitterness, and dysfunction. Today, the Holy Spirit helps us cultivate a godly environment, transforming our homes into spaces filled with God’s presence. Failing to do so leaves our children vulnerable to spiritual attacks. Hiding marital breakdowns from our children does not protect them.
True protection for our children comes from cultivating a genuine, godly presence in our homes, not by faking peace. We don’t need to raise our children in church full-time like Samuel; we can achieve God’s presence within our own homes.
We cannot know the future challenges our children will face, making it misguided to prepare them without God’s guidance. Only God knows the future, the spiritual battles against our children, and the challenges they will encounter. Raising children without God is like preparing them for an exam without knowing the subject they will be examined on. Involving God in parenting allows Him to guide us in training them. Our children are God’s, not ours, so we must let Him raise them by remaining connected to Him for guidance.
Isaiah 54:13 says, “All your children will be taught by the LORD, and great will be their peace.” God desires to teach our children. Do we make our homes suitable classrooms for Him? Often, God teaches our children through our own journeys. As parents, if we are open to being taught by God, our children will observe and learn from us, whether it’s forgiveness, anger management, love, service, faithfulness, or generosity. We, too, are God’s children with much to learn, and our children will benefit when we learn alongside them.
A significant tragedy in families is fathers who do not pray or lack an intimate relationship with God, leaving the spiritual covering of their children to their wives. They claim to be family heads but are absent in spiritually protecting their children, believing financial provision is sufficient. They lack the wisdom to understand that their children’s most vicious enemy is a spiritual one.
Returning to Samuel’s upbringing, 1 Samuel 3 presents an intriguing story. Samuel, sleeping in a separate room from Eli, is called by God. Unfamiliar with God’s voice, Samuel assumes Eli is calling him. This happens twice before Eli realizes God is speaking to Samuel. Eli then instructs Samuel on how to respond. When God calls a third time, Samuel answers as advised, and God delivers His message.
This passage underscores the importance of teaching our children to hear from God. To do this, we must first learn to hear God ourselves, enabling us to guide our children. 1 Samuel 3:8 states, “Now Samuel did not yet know the LORD: The word of the LORD had not yet been revealed to him.” The greatest disservice we can do to our children is fail to teach them to know, talk, and hear from God, sending them into a dark world without a “torch” to navigate it. We cannot expect them to find God and learn to hear from Him only after leaving the safety of our homes. While God is merciful and may reach some, they may endure unnecessary hardship in the process, and the enemy will exploit their ignorance.
While raising our children, prayer is not enough. We must teach them to develop a personal relationship with God long before they leave home. From the moment they can hear, let us teach them God’s Word.
Proverbs 22:6 says, “Start your children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old, they will not turn from it.” God speaks as He writes; to understand His voice, we must read His Word. Invite the Holy Spirit to interpret it and teach your children to do the same. When you send them into the world with a developed relationship with God, you can rest in peace, knowing that even if they stumble, God will call them back. You will relinquish the need to control them, free from constant fear that you haven’t equipped them. If they stray, you will be assured that God will remind them of the path you, through the Holy Spirit, trained them to take.
Proverbs 13:24 states, “Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.” Many misinterpret this as advocating physical abuse. Discipline is the practice of training children to obey. Various consequences can be used for discipline, and we should pray for God’s guidance on the most effective method for each child, as every child is unique.
God knows the children He created and thus knows the best discipline method for each. Nothing concerning our children is too small to commit to God. We should all seek His guidance on discipline. Many parents unknowingly break their children’s spirits in the name of discipline. Satan wants us to discipline in anger, frustration, and helplessness, leading us to say and do things that cause trauma and curse our children. Cursing our children is cursing ourselves, for they are a part of us. Let’s stop relying on culture for disciplinary guidance.
Eli, despite teaching Samuel how to respond to God, failed to discipline his own wicked, sexually immoral, and blasphemous sons. He verbally rebuked them but failed to implement consequences, allowing their sin to continue, and his future generations paid the price.
When our young children commit minor offenses like hitting, spitting, or mischief, we must establish clear rules, explain their purpose, and communicate the consequences of misbehavior. We must then consistently implement these consequences. As children grow and their offenses become more serious, consequences should escalate accordingly. From a young age, we should teach them rules, their reasons, and the consequences of breaking them, involving God throughout the process, for His Spirit will convince and convict them.
Disciplining our children with God’s guidance keeps us grounded, preventing angry parenting that harms their souls. It also teaches our children to understand the necessity of discipline, rather than feeling unfairly victimized. Discipline can be overwhelming, but with God’s help, we can do it to His glory.
Cultivating an open relationship with our children is crucial. By fostering an environment where they feel comfortable discussing any aspect of their lives, we provide a vital safeguard. This requires grace and maturity, making a conscious effort to be deeply involved in their personal lives, friendships, and experiences to the extent they allow. This engagement helps them understand they can confide in us when needed. Predators often target isolated children, and are less likely to pursue those with highly involved parents due to the increased risk of exposure. Our relationship with our children is a powerful deterrent against predatory targeting and grooming. Therefore, we should seek God’s guidance to remain actively engaged in our children’s lives.
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